So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
