I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
