we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize