i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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