perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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