I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
two words: eviction party
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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