when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
