she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
