So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
