i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
