ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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