i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
