There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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