my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
