Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
bring money and cleavage
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
