I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
