Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
