i permit you to call me
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
