Don't you send me to vm
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize