You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
