Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
wow bdsm is so cute
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
