It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
