____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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