At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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