sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
that is very illegal...i love you.
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