Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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