Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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