I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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