You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Come share oat with me in your robe
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
