No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize