Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
