Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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