Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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