Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
