maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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