I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
