Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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