So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
