So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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