sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
People in love make me want to vomit
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We need to get me chipped asap
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
