areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize