OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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