He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
