She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
