k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
