Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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