Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
