i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
