2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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