She said her name was "party"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Semen is not good for contacts.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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