i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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