i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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