If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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