hotel room ftw
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
