i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
