There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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