420 ftw
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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