I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
