I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
