i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you win again, gameday.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
