just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize