can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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