I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
