Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
