Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
