is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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