I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
