I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
