dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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