It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
dude. I can hear the air.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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