she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
