I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
