Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
