i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
